he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Randomize
