Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
How does one acquire holy water?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
