why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
