Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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