It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
