found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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