But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
