they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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