Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
