I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
