it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
