He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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