That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
