ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
