The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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