Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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