Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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