he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
