I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
