She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My hand turned me down
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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