I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
it glows. i had to have it.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
he high fived his dick after we had sex
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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