i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
