how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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