grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
