They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
