Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
