yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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