Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
