O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
