he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
