I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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