Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
