So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
