Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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