My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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