I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
