I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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