It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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