Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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