We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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