Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
