I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
