John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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