I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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