You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
