I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
