Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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