There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
