Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
