She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
