I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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