I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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