My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
